office & doctor

Jul. 29th, 2005 @ 11:27 am office & doctor

I dislike my co-workers, kinda, sorta....we work in a loft office space, so theres not alot of privacy. Voices, noise, sound in general carry. When people sneeze, I ALWAYS holler "bless you" across our vast space, regardless of whomever is sneezing. Well, I just had a little sneezing fit, and not one mother fucker said "bless you".

I have a doctors appointment this afternoon. It's at 3:30, so I was planning on heading out around 2:45, but that time keeps getting shorter & shorter. Than I was thinking 2 o'clock would be good. Now, I'm like fuck it, I leaving at 1:00.

My doctor appointment is to HOPEFULLY find out why the fuck I choke whenever I eat or drink. It happens all the time!! Even when I chew gum, the saliva builds up in my throat and I have to "regurgitate". It's disgusting. Everyone asks me how I'm losing so much weight. Well, because I can't fucking eat without being in pain, or gaging, or choking, or regurgitating. I went to a doctor a while back for it, they did an endoscopy, cost me $900 and they didnt find shit. So after reading an article, and all my symptoms point to esophageal cancer, I decided that I've waited too long.

The problem, whenever I swallow, it feels as though the muscles in my throat constrict and whatever I'm swallowing gets stuck right there, my nature reflex is to swallow more, but that just makes it worse and causes more pain. Than I have to wait for it to slowly pass OR come up. It happens all the time. I dont even like to eat anymore because its a painful experience. I know this appointment wont solve the problem but its a start and hopefully its non-cancerous.

I've said "fuck" alot in this entry.

And my feet are cold!!! They are always cold. I'm always cold. I'm sitting at my desk w/ a blanket wrapped around me.

Peace.

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